You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
