You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Randomize
