i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
