I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize