I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
