I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
