he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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