I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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