I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You left your underwear on the fireplace
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
