Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
