im gay
i know
yea but for you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
