on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize