Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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