Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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