They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
