I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
