for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
