I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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