Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
