Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
