I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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