So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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