You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
