your thong is hanging out like whoa
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
