if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
