yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
