Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize