Where did you get a picture of my penis
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
