wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
