Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
