Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
