Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
