I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
