yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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