He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
