I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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