I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
