I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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