would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
