Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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