Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize