i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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