I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
