Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize