I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
