i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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