one might say we're banned from that church
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
