I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
