no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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