D3 body, D1 cock
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
