I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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