YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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