My room smells like vodka and shame
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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