saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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