He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
