Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My vagina just clenched in fear
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
