We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
