i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
