He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize