It's Friday. Sex?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she looked like the before picture.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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