DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
