No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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