To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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