i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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