HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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