So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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