I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
